Hard Times
by VampireRae
Summary: Hermione's having a hard time..."Times are hard...How can I move on?"
1. How Can I Help You?

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story, except for the plot. The characters belong to the talented JKR, and the song "How can I help you" belongs to Patty Loveless.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
How Can I Help You?  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Through the back window of a '59 wagon  
  
I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away  
  
I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her  
  
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay  
  
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain  
  
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same  
  
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry  
  
Come, let me hold you and I will try  
  
How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione looked at the picture in her hand. The two girls in the picture were smiling. The two girls were dressed up for the party that they were at. A birthday party as-of-matter-of-fact, since the two were only seven. The little blonde girl was Jamie Carter, who was the birthday girl, had her arm around young Hermione.  
  
Two weeks later, Hermione's parents told Hermione that they would be leaving for Liverpool, England. Hermione was shocked. They had lived in Scotland for a long time. She didn't want to leave her home, her friend Jamie.  
  
¤¤Flashback¤¤  
  
Shavon Granger was deeply upset that her daughter was resisting them about moving. She pulled her daughter off to the side and asked her what was wrong.  
  
"Mama, I don't want to go to England. I want to stay here with Jamie; here in Scotland," young Hermione had answered.  
  
Shavon just sighed and hugged her daughter. She ran her hand through her daughter's curly hair, whispering softly, "Time will ease your pain, hun. In life, everything changes. Tell me what to do to help you say goodbye to Jamie."  
  
The young Hermione sniffed. She looked up at her mother with her seven-year- old honey eyes. Her mother wiped away the tears away from her daughter's face.  
  
"Will you be there with me when I say goodbye to Jamie?" young Hermione asked.  
  
Shavon just smiled weakly, and nodded.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase  
  
I held a picture of our wedding day  
  
His hands were trembling, we both were crying  
  
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away  
  
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain  
  
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same  
  
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry  
  
Come, let me hold you and I will try  
  
How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione put the picture back into the shoebox. She picked up the next photo. It was of her and Harry. It was their wedding picture. It was the happiest moment of her life. She couldn't have been happier. But one day, he left and never came back.  
  
¤¤Flashback¤¤  
  
"Harry, do you have to leave?" the young woman asked, sitting on the bed. She had her curly hair up in a ponytail with a few wisps of hair framing her face. Her honey eyes had threatening tears in them. She was watching the man she loved with all her heart pack his suitcase.  
  
"'Mione, you know I have to. The ministry needs me. I can't just turn down my job," Harry replied, shoving a shirt in the suitcase. A tear slid down his cheek, but he didn't wipe it away.  
  
Hermione looked at her husband on just nodded. She knew he couldn't say no to the ministry. He was an Auror after all, and she knew that he had to do his job.  
  
"But why can't they find an Auror in France. Why does an English one have to go?" Hermione persisted. She loved Harry to death, and knew his job was dangerous.  
  
Harry sighed heavily. "'Mione, I love you, and you know that. I have to go, you know that." He wiped the tears away that where streaming down her cheeks. He kissed her softly on the lips, and promised that he would return safely.  
  
Hermione called up her mother, Shavon.  
  
"Hello?" said a sleepy Shavon.  
  
"Mum?" Hermione asked, fighting back the tears that wanted to be free.  
  
"Hermione?! What's the matter sweetie?"  
  
Hermione told her mother everything. She started to cry harder now, and couldn't stop. Her mother was silent on the other end of the phone. She let her daughter calm down before she spoke.  
  
"Sweetie, do you remember what I said when we had to leave Scotland? About how time will help ease your pain, and that life was full of changes?"  
  
Hermione breathed deeply. "Yes mum, I remember."  
  
"He'll be back, you know that," her mother said.  
  
"Thanks Mum." Hermione set the phone back down in the cradle, and sided. A few weeks later she would have to attend Harry's funeral, and her mother was there holding her hand, helping her to say goodbye.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom  
  
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand  
  
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over  
  
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand  
  
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain  
  
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same  
  
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry  
  
Come, let me hold you and I will try  
  
How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
How can I help you to say goodbye?  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione put the picture back in the box, and put the box under her bed. She didn't know what to do anymore. Her mother was gone. She had remarried, but she wasn't as happy as she was with Harry. Her father had past away when she was eighteen, thanks to Voldemort. Her mother was all she had for the next four years. They always had been close. It was hard saying goodbye to her. She was Hermione's best friend, the person she went to when she had hard times.  
  
¤¤Flashback¤¤  
  
Hermione lifted her head off the side of the bed. She had been next to her mother for the past week, helping her through her last few days of life.  
  
Hermione almost died when the doctor told her that her mother, Shavon Granger, had a brain tumor that was cancerous. It was like a blow to the stomach. She didn't know what she was going to do if she lost her mother. Well, live with Draco of course, but who was going to be there for her now.  
  
Her mother grabbed her hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. She looked at Hermione with eyes full of pain and sorrow.  
  
"Don't cry, hun. It's not going to change anything. I have to go you know that." Her voice was soft but raspy. "Remember what I told you. Time will help you ease the pain, and life is full of changes. You don't need my help to say goodbye for this. I love you more than anything in the world Hermione Anne. I will always be with you." And with that, Shavon Granger, 42, took her last breath, and died quietly in her bed.  
  
Hermione started to cry again.  
  
"I love you too, Mama."  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	2. Everytime

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this, except for the plot. The characters belong to JKR, and the song, "Everytime" belongs to Britney Spears.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Everytime  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Notice me  
  
Take my hand  
  
Why are we  
  
Strangers when  
  
Our love is strong?  
  
Why carry on without me?  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Three years earlier...  
  
"Hermione, hold up!" Harry said, running down the corridor, dodging the students crowding the corridor, to catch up with his best friend of seven years, and girlfriend of two years.  
  
Hermione set down her trunk and turned around to smile at her boyfriend, who was running down the corridor like an idiot. She loved him with all her heart, but he can be embarrassing at times.  
  
Once he got to her, he was out of breath and bending down trying to get air in his lungs. Hermione smiled shaking her head.  
  
"Hey," Harry said, breathlessly.  
  
"Hello," Hermione said with curiosity.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Harry, I think we got that down. So why were running down the corridor?" Hermione was worried, but tried not too look like she was.  
  
Harry smiled and stuck his hands in his pants' pockets. "Aw, don't worry Hermione. It's nothing serious. Well, it is, but not life threatening."  
  
Hermione scoffed. "Harry, everything you have to do is life threatening."  
  
Harry laughed, agreeing to what Hermione said. "But Hermione, this really isn't." He pulled his left hand out of his pocket, grabbed her hand, and led her to a secluded area, away from the streaming students that were getting ready to leave Hogwarts.  
  
"Harry, what in the wor---" but Hermione was cut short when she saw Harry was on his knee, holding a small silver ring with a tiny diamond in it. She nearly fainted when she saw it.  
  
"I know we're only seventeen, but would you marry me?" Harry asked with pleading eyes.  
  
Hermione was shocked. She didn't know what to say. She got down on her knees and kissed Harry on the lips.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Everytime I try to fly, I fall  
  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Three months later...  
  
Hermione was standing in front of the mirror. The plain white dress hugged her every curve. Her stomach was full of butterflies, and her hands were clammy. Her mother, Shavon, was standing beside her, her hands on her daughter's shoulders, squeezing them in assurance.  
  
Hermione turned her head to look at her mother, and smiled weakly, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. Today was the last day she would no longer be her parent's little girl. Her mother smiled back, pinned the veil in place, and kissed her daughter's cheek.  
  
By that time Ginny walked in, wearing the simple emerald bridesmaid dress. She smiled sweetly at Hermione's mother, then turned to Hermione and said, "Are you ready, 'Mione?"  
  
Hermione smiled and nodded. "Ready as I ever be." She sighed heavily.  
  
"I'll see you in the front," said Shavon. She left the room, leaving the two girls behind.  
  
Hermione turned around to face Ginny. Ginny had her long, red hair half pulled back, and curls cascading down her back. The emerald dress looked good on her, making her red hair brighter than it really was.  
  
"Gin," Hermione began, but Ginny hugged her friend. Hermione felt all the nerves suddenly leave her body.  
  
"'Mione, I'm so happy that you and Harry are getting married. Ron's a little upset, but he'll get over it."  
  
Hermione smiled. She knew Ron had a crush on her since their first year at Hogwarts, but being the best friend he is, hooked her and Harry up. Ginny was happy for two reasons: one that Hermione was the one marrying Harry, and two; Ginny will no longer have to worry about Harry. She knew that Harry was in good hands with Hermione. She was the only one that could keep him in control, and out of trouble. Ginny knew she would never have to worry about her seventh brother.  
  
Hermione got up from her seat, smoothed out her dress, and grabbed her bouquet. She sighed again.  
  
"Are you ready?" Ginny asked again.  
  
"Gin, I already said I was," Hermione answered smiling.  
  
Ginny laughed and followed her friend out the door, towards the ceremony that was being held in the back of the Weasley home.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
I make believe  
  
That you are here  
  
It's the only way  
  
I see clear  
  
What have I done?  
  
You seem to move on easy  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
A year later...  
  
Hermione sat on the bed. She placed a hand on her stomach and felt it kicked. She smiled broadly at the feeling.  
  
"James, knock it off. You have one more month to go, then you can come out," she said, rubbing her stomach softly. Just then Harry walked in with a towel around his waist, drying his hair with another. He smiled at his pregnant wife, and sat down next to her on the bed.  
  
"James, are you giving your mother a hard time?" Harry asked Hermione's bulging stomach. He kissed her stomach, and then kissed Hermione. She laughed and dropped the photo on the floor. "What's so funny?" Harry asked; he confused with what his wife would be laughing at.  
  
"You're what's so funny," Hermione said, between breaths. Her husband looked at her like she was insane. She smiled and looked at Harry. "If James is anything like you or his grandfather, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave me a hard time. But if he is anything like his mother, or your mother in fact, I expect him to be a rule-following son."  
  
Harry smiled. "But he is going to be like his father and grandfather. He's going to be a true Potter. A rule-breaker." He wrapped his arm around his wife and kissed her. "You know he is, and it bothers you, doesn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it bothers me. If he is like you or your father, then we have our hands full. If he's worse than you two, then well, we might have to find another school for him once he's expelled from Hogwarts."  
  
Harry looked appalled at what Hermione said. "You think our son will be expelled from Hogwarts? You're insane woman!"  
  
Hermione laughed at his comment. "You thought I was insane when I met you, but you still married me."  
  
"Yeah, it was my worse mistake too," Harry mumbled. Hermione playfully slapped him on the leg.  
  
"Excuse me? You do know I'm carrying your son here." She pointed to her stomach.  
  
"I mean, it was the best mistake I made," Harry corrected. He kissed Hermione on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "I love you always." Hermione smiled. Harry looked down at her stomach and added, "And I love you too. You hear me in there?"  
  
Hermione laughed. "We better get dressed. Mum and Dad are probably waiting for us to arrive.  
  
Harry stuck out his bottom lip and gave Hermione his puppy dog eyes. "Do we have to?"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Harry, I only want to deal with one child, I don't want two. And yes, we do. Now, get dressed."  
  
"Yes, Mommy dearest!" Harry replied, getting off the bed quickly, with his eyes full of mischief and excitement.  
  
"I hope you don't turn out like him, James," Hermione said to her stomach, shaking her head at her husband, who was now buck naked standing in front of the closet.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Seven months later...  
  
"Harry, do you have to leave?" Hermione asked, sitting on their bed. She had her curly hair up in a ponytail with a few wisps of hair framing her face. Her honey eyes had threatening tears in them. She was watching the man she loved with all her heart pack his suitcase.  
  
"'Mione, you know I have to. The ministry needs me. I can't just turn down my job," Harry replied, shoving a shirt in the suitcase. A tear slid down his cheek, but he didn't wipe it away. Hermione looked at her husband and just nodded. She knew he couldn't say no to the ministry. He was an Auror after all, and she knew that he had to do his job.  
  
"But why can't they find an Auror in France. Why does an English one have to go?" Hermione persisted. She loved Harry to death, and knew his job was dangerous.  
  
Harry sighed heavily. "'Mione, I love you, and you know that. I have to go, you know that." He wiped the tears away that where streaming down her cheeks. He kissed her softly on the lips. "I promise I'll return soon and safely."  
  
"Don't forget to say goodbye to James," she said softly.  
  
"I won't," Harry said, as he kissed her on last time, which lingered for a while, then he left her in the room, as he moved to the nursery to say goodbye to his six month old son.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
I may have made it rain  
  
Please forgive me  
  
My weakness caused you pain  
  
And this song for my sorry  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Two years later..  
  
Hermione got the news about two weeks later that Harry was killed. She was devastated. She didn't know what to do. She wept for a few days, and lived with her parents. James was too young to understand, and he still doesn't.  
  
Now she's living with Draco Malfoy. She doesn't know how she had gotten there. She met him in Diagon Alley one day, and things just happened from there. He had asked her out on a date, and she accepted, but never understood why. She had a thought that Malfoy would just use her, but he didn't. She fell in love with him. She thought she was dreaming when she realized that she had feelings with her late husband's enemy. She didn't know why she loved him, but she did. She never made love to him; she wasn't ready for that. Harry only had been gone for 2 years, and it seemed like it was too soon to move on. But she was happy, at least for now.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
At night I pray  
  
That soon your face will fade away  
  
And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
  
I guess I need you, Baby  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	3. A Broken Wing

Disclaimer: The characters (except for Baby James) belong to JKR; the song, "A Broken Wing" belongs to Martina McBride.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
A Broken Wing  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
She loved him like he was  
  
The last man on Earth  
  
Gave him everything she ever had  
  
He'd break her spirit down  
  
Then come lovin' up on her  
  
Give a little then take it back  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
A year later...  
  
Hermione carried her two-year-old son out of the house, got into her car, slammed the door shut and locked it. She wiped her tears off her cheeks and took a deep breath. Her cheek still stung from where his hand had struck her. She looked up, and saw Draco come out of the house fuming about the fight they just had. She put James in his car seat.  
  
"HERMIONE!" Draco yelled. His fists were clenched, his face was red, and he had that look on his face. Hermione knew it too well. "Hermione, get out of the car. Oh, come on Hermione! Get out of the fucking car now!"  
  
Hermione flinched to the last phrase, were Draco slammed down on car's roof. New tears stung her eyes. She fumbled in her purse looking for her keys. When she found them but dropped them to the floor of the car. Draco was really getting mad by now. He started to pull on the door handle, and James started to cry.  
  
"Hermione, don't you leave. Get out of the car and let's talk about it. Hermione!" Draco said angrily.  
  
"Fuck you, you bastard!" Hermione screamed. She started the engine and put it in reverse.  
  
"Hermione, don't you dare think about leaving. You have no place to go! You have to come back sooner or later." Draco yelled again.  
  
'Just watch me, Draco,' Hermione thought to herself. She backed out as fast as she could out of the drive way, put in into drive, and stepped on the gas pedal. She looked up in the rear-view mirror and she could see Draco running after her car. She sighed heavily and relaxed a little bit.  
  
James was still crying in the back. Hermione looked in the rear-view mirror to make sure Draco wasn't behind her. And he wasn't. She pulled over on the side of the road, and turned around to face her song.  
  
"James," Hermione said softly. She stroked her son's cheek gently. "Momma's sorry about that. I didn't mean to make you cry." Tears were still falling from Hermione's eyes again, but tried to keep her voice steady. A minute later, James was quietly sleeping, Hermione still stroking his cheek, trying to calm herself down. She knew Draco was right; she had nowhere to go. She started the car again, and turned it around.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
She'd tell him about her dreams  
  
He'd just shoot 'em down  
  
Lord he loved to make her cry  
  
You're crazy for believin'  
  
You'll ever leave the ground  
  
He said Only angels know how to fly  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
James was still sleeping when she pulled up into the driveway. She got out, and carefully picked James up from his car seat. She slowly made her way towards the door; she noticed that Draco was waiting in the doorway. He had his arms folded across his chest, and a smile on his face. She smiled weakly back.  
  
"Hi," he calmly greeted her.  
  
"Hi," she said softly.  
  
He took the sleeping James from her as she walked past him. She didn't protest, not wanting to have a fight again. She loved Draco like he was the last man on Earth, but never as much as she loved Harry or James. And Draco knew that. He knew that he was second best; he always was when it came to Harry Potter.  
  
Hermione made her way to James' bedroom with Draco right behind her. She knew what was going to happen after they put James to bed. It was going to start all over again. He was going to shoot her down, put thoughts in her head, make her feel bad about what she did. But that wasn't the worst part.  
  
Draco gently laid James down in his bed, and motioned to Hermione to step out of the room. She nodded, and wrapped her arms around her middle, walked out of the room, and waited for the worst to come.  
  
Draco shut the door with a click, and that's when all hell broke loose.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
And with a broken wing  
  
She still sings  
  
She keeps an eye on the sky  
  
With a broken wing  
  
She carries her dreams  
  
Man you ought to see her fly  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione laid there in her bed, next to Draco. She softly sobbed, trying not to wake him up. It was the worse it had ever been. She never felt so terrible before. She would try to leave, but something made her go back. Maybe it was James. She didn't want him to grow up without a father in his life. He needed one. But she didn't want him to grow up beating his wife.  
  
The fight that had happened earlier was worse than the one that happened before. He had called her the usual: bitch, slut, and whore. You name it he said it. She was use to the verbal part, but when the physical abuse came, she couldn't stand it.  
  
The first hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt her cheek bruise even worse than the hit earlier that day. He had grabbed her hair and threw her down to the floor. She fell to floor with a thud, knocked out of breath. She felt him on her back, and his hands around her throat. She started to struggle for breath, and tried to get his hands off her neck. He let go, as she was about to pass out. He had picked her up again, and threw her on the bed. She knew she couldn't escape him. He was pissed, and she knew what he was going to do next.  
  
Hermione shook her head. She knew she had to get out of the house, away from Draco. Her life depended on it; James' life depended on it. She silently got out of bed and tiptoed to James' bedroom.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
One Sunday morning  
  
She didn't go to church  
  
He wondered why she didn't leave  
  
He went up to the bedroom  
  
Found a note by the window  
  
With the curtains blowin' in the breeze  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione really didn't know where she was planning on going. She packed all her stuff up in her car. James was still sleeping. She drove around for an hour, and ended up where she thought she never would end up. She knew he could help. He had helped Harry before, and maybe he would help her too. After all, he had helped her out at Hogwarts when she was a student.  
  
With a sleepy James in her arms, she walked up to the door and knocked. It was four in morning, and Hermione was afraid he wouldn't answer the door. It wasn't a full moon tonight, so she knew she would be safe.  
  
She was about to turn around, when the door opened, and a sleepy looking Remus was standing in front of her. He looked at her confused.  
  
"Hermione? Is everything all right? Remus asked. She was still in the shadows and he couldn't make out her face. She took a step forward, and Remus eyes widen. Hermione had cuts and bruises all over her face, and the arms that were holding James were even worse. He took James from Hermione, and led her inside.  
  
"Remus, I don't want to talk about it right now. I just need some sleep," Hermione said.  
  
Remus nodded and told her she could sleep in the guest room, and that he would get a crib for James. Hermione didn't complain; she was too tired. She crawled into bed and fell asleep right away. Remus looked at her solemnly. He knew she was having troubles with Draco, but he couldn't believe that it was this bad. In the morning she will tell him what was going on. But before that could happen, he needed more sleep.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
And with a broken wing  
  
She still sings  
  
She keeps an eye on the sky  
  
With a broken wing  
  
She carries her dreams  
  
Man you ought to see her fly  
  
With a broken wing  
  
She carries her dreams  
  
Man you ought to see her fly  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


	4. I Can't Go There

Disclaimer: rolls eyes Do I really have to do this? Well, the characters belong to JKR, and the song "I Can't Go There" belongs to the hot Kenny Chesney.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Chapter 4 I Can't Go There  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
You know that restaurant on highway one  
  
With the key lime pie, that song, the sand and the sun  
  
Where we ran in our bare feet  
  
Built a castle on the beach  
  
Just the wind, the rocks, the waves and you and me  
  
I can't go there  
  
'Cause that's just too much us  
  
I can't go there  
  
I still feel your touch  
  
There's places in my heart and head That feel as empty as our bed  
  
So most nights I don't even walk upstairs  
  
'Cause I can't go there  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
A year later...  
  
It's been a year. James was now three, and they were both happy. Especially Hermione. Though, she still had that fear of Draco being behind her at any moment. But now, she checks over her shoulder only when she's in Diagon Alley, even then, Draco wasn't there. A part of her still cared about Draco, but she knew she couldn't.  
  
More than all, James has become a smart little boy. He knew Remus was just a friend of his mommy's, but always asked Hermione where his daddy was. Hermione didn't want to tell him yet. She thought he was too young to understand, but she was amazed how brilliant he really was. She knew that sooner or later he would know what happened.  
  
Hermione was sitting on the couch when James came running through the front door laughing, with snow in his messy, jet-black hair. Hermione looked up from her book to smile at her three-year-old son. She couldn't help but think of Harry when she saw her son.  
  
...Four years ago...  
  
It was a crisp December morning. Hermione was cooking breakfast waiting for Harry to wake up. She was flipping the pancakes when she felt someone's arms wrap around her waist. She smiled happily.  
  
"Morning," Harry whispered softly in her ear, and then kissed her neck. "So, what's for breakfast?" He settled his hands on her hips.  
  
"What do you think it is?" Hermione answered.  
  
Harry looked over her shoulders, "Pancakes and sausage?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Hermione moved the already-done pancakes to a plate next to the stove. Harry grabbed the plate and took it to the table, where he sat down and put five pancakes on his plate. He was reaching for the syrup, when Hermione brought over the plate of sausages.  
  
"My, my. Aren't we hungry today," Hermione said, as she sat down in her seat, watching her husband pile some sausages on his plate.  
  
Harry looked up from his plate. "Did you forget? Ginny and Seamus are coming to visit. So is Ron and Lavender."  
  
Hermione looked horrorstricken. "That was today?! I thought that wasn't until next week?!"  
  
She put her head in her hands and started to mumble to herself. Harry couldn't understand anything she was saying. He found this funny and started to laugh out loud. Hermione looked up from her hands and stared at her husband.  
  
"What's so funny?" Hermione demanded.  
  
"Nothing really. I just love it when you get angry and frustrated," Harry replied.  
  
Hermione shook her head and took out her wand. "The house is a mess." She murmured a spell, and the once messy kitchen was spick and span. She got up from her chair and moved to the living room. Harry got up as well, and followed his wife.  
  
"'Mione, you're forgetting that they could care less what our house looks like," Harry said. He sat down in the oversized burgundy chair.  
  
Hermione turned around to face her husband; she had just made the living room spotless. "Harry, I don't care what Ron, Ginny, or even Seamus thinks about our house. It's Lavender that I /i care about."  
  
Harry looked at her shocked. "Why is that?" Hermione sighed and sat down on Harry's lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
"Because, after we started going out, she became jealous, and she had been very competitive. She thinks that she was better for you than me. She /i have a crush on you, Harry. Besides, she can be such a priss, and thinks she's better than everyone because she's so beautiful. Yeah right, she'll look better without all the makeup." Hermione rested her head on his shoulder and sighed again.  
  
A smile crept on Harry's lips, thinking that it was nice that his wife was getting jealous. "Aw, 'Mione, Lavender was always like that with every guy she had the hots for. Trust me," Harry said. It was true, Lavender got jealous if anyone dated the guy that was "the flavor of the week" according to her.  
  
Hermione smiled, knowing her husband was right. "You're right," she said, kissing Harry on the forehead. "But I know you love the idea that I get jealous of Lavender."  
  
Harry fixed his face with confusion and said, "What makes you think that?"  
  
"Oh, I know. I remember back in Seventh Year," Hermione said.  
  
"That was an accident. Remember, Patil kissed me. I didn't do it, or respond!" Harry said, defensively. He put both of his hands in the air.  
  
"Yeah, right," Hermione said with some sarcasm in her voice. She got up and walked to the front door. She grabbed her gray coat and hat off the coat rack, and her gloves. She put them on and opened the door.  
  
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Harry asked.  
  
"Out. I need to walk this emotion off before everyone gets here," Hermione said, walking outside, closing the door behind her.  
  
Harry got up from his chair and ran for the door. He grabbed his coat, hat, and gloves, put them on, opened the door, and ran outside after his wife. It was snowing outside. He saw his wife walking down the un- shoveled driveway. The snow was knee deep, and he knew she wouldn't be able to run away from him. He got behind Hermione, and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. Hermione screamed and started to laugh.  
  
"Harry James Potter! Put me down this instant!"  
  
"As you wish, my lady," Harry said, grinning. He took her down from his shoulder, but instead of lightly setting her down on the ground, he dropped her in the huge snow bank. Hermione felt the cold snow underneath her, and gasped at the sudden cold at her neck.  
  
"Potter, you are so dead for that!" Hermione yelled with a smile on her face.  
  
"Now, my lady, it isn't nice to threat a knight with death threats," Harry said, smiling back. "Do you want help getting up, my lady?" Harry held out his hand, waiting for Hermione to take it.  
  
"Yes," Hermione said, with a devilish smile on her face. She took Harry's hand, but instead of having him help her up, she pulled him down on to her. They both laughed, and ended up kissing.  
  
...Today...  
  
"Mommy! Remus and I built a snowman outside. It's really cool, you wanna come and see it mommy?" James said enthusiastically. He pulled on his mother's hand, trying to get her off the couch.  
  
"Alright James. Just let me get my hat and coat and we'll go see this snowman you built." Hermione got up from the couch and slipped her shoes one. She grabbed her gray hat and coat and put them on. James grabbed her hand and pulled her outside.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Remember San Francisco on that cable car  
  
Our reflection in the window of that store  
  
How we danced the night away  
  
With the lights out on the bay  
  
Then wound up in a blanket on the floor  
  
I can't go there  
  
'Cause 'Frisco's too much us  
  
I can't go there  
  
I still feel your touch  
  
Now there's places in my heart and head that  
  
still feel empty as our bed  
  
So most nights I don't even walk upstairs  
  
'Cause I can't go there  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
Hermione woke up to the pressure on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and yawned. Looking up, she saw Remus smiling down at her. She smiled back feebly.  
  
"This is the third time this week that you fell asleep on the couch," Remus said, a look of concern washed over his face. Hermione sat up, rubbing her eyes, trying to get them to wake up. Remus sat down next to her. Hermione rested her head on his shoulder, as he put his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"I guess I loss track of time when I read," Hermione answered.  
  
Remus shook his head. "I don't think it has to do with that. You fall asleep every night at ten. What's going on Hermione?"  
  
Hermione yawned again. "I don't know. Maybe James just wears me out."  
  
"That's not true," Remus said. He squeezed her shoulder. "You only been like this since we took James to Hogsmead. Tell me what's really going on. I had you as a student for a year at Hogwarts, and I know you can't leave a question half or not answered."  
  
Hermione laughed weakly. Remus did have a point. But how can she tell him what was going through her mind? How would he know how she felt at that moment?  
  
...Two Years Ago...  
  
It was a cool spring day, and Hermione and Harry decided to take Baby James to Hogsmead for the first time. He was only three months old, but they figured that they would be bringing him here quite a bit when he gets older. They were shopping for their friend, Ron, for his birthday, considering it was only a month away.  
  
"What do you think we should get him?" Hermione asked, holding James close to her.  
  
"Um," Harry answered, lost in thought. "Maybe we should stop bye Honeydukes and Zonko's. You know how much he loves those jokes and he has such a sweet tooth."  
  
Hermione nodded while she wrapped the blanket around James more. There was a slight breeze, and it was cool. James already got over a cold, considering he was only three months old.  
  
"If he doesn't like any of that, then well, I don't know what we can get him," Harry said.  
  
"Quidditch," Hermione said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Anything that has anything to do with Quidditch," Hermione repeated. James made a small cooing noise from under the blanket.  
  
"You agree with that, James?" Harry asked, with a smile playing on his lips. Hermione laughed. "What's so funny?"  
  
"You," Hermione replied. She held out James to Harry, and he took him without protest. "You talk to him like he's eleven. I mean, you tell him how to fly a broom when he's not even crawling. Like last night, you were teaching him tickling charms...demonstrating them on me." Harry smile broaden as he held James.  
  
They spent most of the day shopping for Ron, Chocolate Frogs, Every Flavor Beans, etc. On the way they bought some things for themselves. James had fallen asleep, and the two decided to call it a day.  
  
Once they got home and put James to bed, the sky had already turned dark with gray and purple clouds. Rain started to splatter on the window, and they could hear the distant rumbling of thunder. Harry and Hermione made their way back downstairs. Harry settled himself down on the couch and Hermione followed soon after him. She curled up to him, and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch. Crookshanks walked into the room, stretched and yawned, then curled up in front of the fire. Hermione rested her head on Harry's shoulder and closed her eyes.  
  
"'Mione?" Harry asked softly.  
  
"Hm?" Hermione answered. Her eyes were still closed and her answer seemed distant.  
  
"I love you and James more than I love life itself," Harry said, kissing the top of Hermione's head.  
  
"So do I, dear. So do I," Hermione replied sleepily. Her breathing became shallow and Harry grinned. She had fallen asleep.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
If it was only Florida or California  
  
Maybe I could let myself move on  
  
But its everywhere we've been  
  
And everywhere I turn  
  
I can't love again  
  
'Cause I've learned  
  
That I can't go there  
  
Its something I can't do  
  
I can't go there  
  
I'll run into you  
  
I can't go there  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
"Mommy! Remus! Wake up!" James cried with delight.  
  
Hermione opened her sleepy eyes to look at her son. He seemed awake and alert, more than what she felt at that moment. She looked up and saw Remus rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.  
  
"What is it James?" Remus asked as he yawned.  
  
"Santa came!" James answered back.  
  
Hermione's eyes snapped open. She had forgotten it was Christmas. Yesterday was Christmas Eve, and she never knew it. She looked over at the tree, but there were presents already under the tree. Some she knew that Remus had put there, but there were others that she didn't know where they came from.  
  
"Mommy. Can we open the presents now?" James asked with anticipation. The look on his face was the same look Harry had. His eyes were big and bright, full of happiness. He had a smile on his face that was so bright that Hermione had to smile herself.  
  
"How about if we had some breakfast first," Hermione said.  
  
"Aw, do we have to?" James complained.  
  
"Yes, we have to," Remus replied, a smile on his face. He picked up James and threw him over his shoulder. James giggled and then started to scream from Remus spinning around in circles.  
  
Hermione felt a giggle slide out of her mouth. Remus was an excellent father figure to James, but it was hard for her to realize that James still didn't have a father in his life.  
  
They ate their breakfast, and to Hermione's surprise, James ate rather slowly. He kept looking at Remus and her oddly.  
  
"James, what is it hunny?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Why were you two sleeping on the couch?" James asked coyly.  
  
Hermione and Remus looked at each other. Hermione didn't know how to answer the question.  
  
But to her rescue, Remus took the turn to answer. "Well, we were going to try to wait up for Santa so we could ask him if he could visit you, but we fell asleep." Hermione looked at Remus, trying hard to believe what he said. He just lied to her son.  
  
"Really?" James said, wide-eyed. Apparently he bought the lie, and believed every word Remus had said.  
  
"Yes, really," Hermione answered, still looking at Remus. Usually he would tell James the truth, but this time he told a lie. She didn't understand. The truth was, that they both fell asleep last night just talking to each other. Just talking about everything, from Harry to James, feelings to desires. They also did something Hermione thought she would never do with Remus. They kissed. Not just a friendly peck but a long, loving kiss, a kiss that Hermione hasn't experience since she was with Harry. She also remembered that Remus asked her a specific question the night before, a serious question that she had to think about. A question that she needed to sort out the pros and cons of each answer there was.  
  
"Mommy?" James' voice cut into her reminiscing.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Remus said we can open gifts now," James said, taking his mother's hand in his. Hermione knew she was obligated to go. She got up from her chair, and allowed her son to drag her into the living room.  
  
Remus was sitting in the loveseat, drinking a cup of coffee. Hermione took a seat next to him. He grabbed her hand, but she didn't pull away. She intertwined their fingers, and squeezed his hand gently.  
  
"Mommy, this little box is for you," James said, holding out a tiny square box to his mother.  
  
Hermione looked at him quizzically, took the small box, and looked at Remus. Remus nodded. She ran a trembling finger under the side of the box, and ripped the paper off the box. Her eyes widen, afraid what the tiny box would hold. She opened the box, and nearly fainted at what she saw in it. There laid a small silver band with three small stones. The middle one was a diamond, and the other two where sapphires. She looked at Remus.  
  
Remus smiled and cleared his throat. "Hermione, you know I love you and James very much, and I've been there for you two for the past year. You know I will never leave you two alone ever. I want you two to be in my life forever, that's if you would let me." Remus slid off the loveseat onto the floor. He was on a knee, facing Hermione head on. "Hermione, would you marry me?"  
  
Tears were stinging Hermione's eyes. They weren't like tears that usually fell from her eyes, which were usually because of sadness. These tears that were falling because of happiness that she felt. She loved Remus, not as much as she loved Harry but more than Draco. Tears were falling freely down her eyes, and her cheeks were shining with tears.  
  
"Remus, why did you make Mommy cry?" James asked, a concerned look on his face.  
  
Hermione smiled at her son and said, "Hunny, I'm crying because I'm happy, not sad."  
  
Remus looked up at Hermione. "Is that a yes then?" A smile was creeping on his lips.  
  
"That means a yes," Hermione said, a small laugh escaping through her lips. Remus smiled at Hermione, and kissed her gently on the lips.  
  
"What's going on?" James asked innocently.  
  
"James, we're going to get married," Hermione answered her son. James looked at her confused. "It means you're going to have a new daddy. That's if you want Remus to be."  
  
James smile broaden and was bright as ever. His hazel eyes were full of joy and excitement. "Remus is going to be my dad?!" He ran up to Remus hugging him tightly around the waist.  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤  
  
When the sun shines, when it rains  
  
Christmas parties, football games  
  
I can't go there Winter, summer, fall or spring  
  
I see you in everything  
  
I can't go there  
  
It's too much us  
  
I can't go there  
  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 


End file.
